¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

07/11 Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-07-11 68

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) How did you feel when you finished your military service?
A) I served military service 2 years and 2 months starting in 1995 and finished in 1997. I served in the military far from home. Now that the highway has been opened the time has been greatly short, but when I was serving in the military it took 8 hours by bus to get there. Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn't too difficult because I was a soldier belonging to headquarters and not a combat soldier. I think I finished my military service without much difficult except for the cold winter. My opinion on the military are that has both good and bad point. The good thing is to learn patience, communication, and cooperation. The bad thing is wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it. Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time I think it would be a good idea to introduce a volunteer military service system rather than a mandatory.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sungho. You did a wonderful job sharing your personal experience and your honest thoughts about military service. You explained your ideas clearly and gave reasons for your opinion, which shows strong thinking and writing skills. There were a few grammar mistakes, but your meaning was always clear. Keep practicing longer and more detailed writing like this because it helps you build confidence and fluency. I will always do my best to help you fix mistakes, learn from them, and become more comfortable expressing complex ideas in English. You are making good progress, so keep going and don¡¯t give up.

~ T. Lia

I served military service 2 years and 2 months starting in 1995 and finished in 1997.
>> CORRECT

I served in the military far from home.
>> CORRECT

Now that the highway has been opened the time has been greatly short, but when I was serving in the military it took 8 hours by bus to get there.
>> Now that the highway is open, the travel time is much shorter, but when I was serving in the military, it took 8 hours by bus to get there.

Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn't too difficult because I was a soldier belonging to headquarters and not a combat soldier.
>> Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn¡¯t too difficult because I was a soldier in headquarters and not a combat soldier.

I think I finished my military service without much difficult except for the cold winter.
>> I think I finished my military service without much difficulty, except for the cold winter.

My opinion on the military are that has both good and bad point.
>> My opinion on the military is that it has both good and bad points.

The good thing is to learn patience, communication, and cooperation.
>> The good part is that you learn patience, communication, and cooperation.

The bad thing is wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it.
>> The bad part is that I wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it.

Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time I think it would be a good idea to introduce a volunteer military service system rather than a mandatory.
>> Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time, I think it would be a good idea to introduce a voluntary military service system rather than a mandatory one.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144643 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 112
144642 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 94
144641 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 93
144640 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 98
144639 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 131
144638 Describe the summer season in your city. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 113
144637 What is the best thing about your birthplace? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 1
144636 How can Korean society be more diverse? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 156
144635 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 120
144634 Nice to see you again! ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 1
144633 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 125
144632 My positive statements ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 1
144631 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 151
144630 0616 IELTS writing Task1 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-17 1
144629 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 0
144628 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 1
144627 What do you prefer- inviting a friend over to your house or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 127
144626 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 1
144625 In what situation do you get nervous? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 144
144624 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 129

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04