¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

07/11 Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-07-11 69

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) How did you feel when you finished your military service?
A) I served military service 2 years and 2 months starting in 1995 and finished in 1997. I served in the military far from home. Now that the highway has been opened the time has been greatly short, but when I was serving in the military it took 8 hours by bus to get there. Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn't too difficult because I was a soldier belonging to headquarters and not a combat soldier. I think I finished my military service without much difficult except for the cold winter. My opinion on the military are that has both good and bad point. The good thing is to learn patience, communication, and cooperation. The bad thing is wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it. Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time I think it would be a good idea to introduce a volunteer military service system rather than a mandatory.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sungho. You did a wonderful job sharing your personal experience and your honest thoughts about military service. You explained your ideas clearly and gave reasons for your opinion, which shows strong thinking and writing skills. There were a few grammar mistakes, but your meaning was always clear. Keep practicing longer and more detailed writing like this because it helps you build confidence and fluency. I will always do my best to help you fix mistakes, learn from them, and become more comfortable expressing complex ideas in English. You are making good progress, so keep going and don¡¯t give up.

~ T. Lia

I served military service 2 years and 2 months starting in 1995 and finished in 1997.
>> CORRECT

I served in the military far from home.
>> CORRECT

Now that the highway has been opened the time has been greatly short, but when I was serving in the military it took 8 hours by bus to get there.
>> Now that the highway is open, the travel time is much shorter, but when I was serving in the military, it took 8 hours by bus to get there.

Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn't too difficult because I was a soldier belonging to headquarters and not a combat soldier.
>> Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn¡¯t too difficult because I was a soldier in headquarters and not a combat soldier.

I think I finished my military service without much difficult except for the cold winter.
>> I think I finished my military service without much difficulty, except for the cold winter.

My opinion on the military are that has both good and bad point.
>> My opinion on the military is that it has both good and bad points.

The good thing is to learn patience, communication, and cooperation.
>> The good part is that you learn patience, communication, and cooperation.

The bad thing is wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it.
>> The bad part is that I wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it.

Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time I think it would be a good idea to introduce a volunteer military service system rather than a mandatory.
>> Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time, I think it would be a good idea to introduce a voluntary military service system rather than a mandatory one.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144623 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 126
144622 How was the BTS Festa 2025? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 3
144621 Why is it important for children to spend time with adults?... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 150
144620 \"Age is just a number.\" What does this phrase mean? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 355
144619 What is the implication of having an aging population? ÃÖ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 166
144618 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 2
144617 test2 Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 0
144616 test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 1
144615 crime ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 2
144614 D10 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 130
144613 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 1
144612 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 170
144611 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 3
144610 How do you express thankfulness to something or someone? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 190
144609 my friend\'s new cafe ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 157
144608 What have you lost while traveling? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144607 Share one story you\'ve read about the moon. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 218
144606 bath ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144605 roommate ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144604 laundry ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04