¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Page 6

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2025-07-23 31

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Where is it best for you to stay over?

It is best for me to stay over my own room.
Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself

2. When was the last time you stayed over at your friend's house?

Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
We just happy to talking each other.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
I will go to her house next month again!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Nicole. 
Below are some corrections for your composition. Keep learning!
-Teacher Jessa
It is best for me to stay over my own room. Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
>>It¡¯s best for me to stay in my own room because I need time for myself every day.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
>>Being alone helps me stay calm and think about what I said or did during the day.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself.
>>It¡¯s also a great way for me to strengthen myself.
Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
>>Last summer vacation, I visited my university friend¡¯s hometown with a few other friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
>>We played a lot of games and enjoyed delicious food!
We just happy to talking each other.
>>We were just happy to talk and spend time together.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
>>We went to bed very late because we didn¡¯t notice how much time had passed.
I will go to her house next month again!
>>I¡¯m planning to visit her house again next month!








¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144916 Who\'s the healthiest person you know? How do they maintain... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 173
144915 Have you ever felt that you knew some people the first time you... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 2
144914 Would winning the lottery change you? ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 2
144913 If you could create your own new season, what would it be like? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 148
144912 How important are paid leave days to you when choosing a job? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 148
144911 What do you think jobs will be like in the future? Explain. Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 166
144910 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 3
144909 AI ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 147
144908 expert ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 1
144907 Problem solving ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 154
144906 Do you enjoy hobbies that challenge you mentally, like puzzles... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 3
144905 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 151
144904 What are your thoughts on couples going Dutch? ¼Õ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 5
144903 Can you be friends with someone very different from you? Why or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 140
144902 What¡¯s more important for a manager: experience or education? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 0
144901 Can you think of a time when your morale was very high? What... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 0
144900 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 167
144899 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 1
144898 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 180
144897 a birthday present ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04