¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Page 6

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2025-07-23 30

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Where is it best for you to stay over?

It is best for me to stay over my own room.
Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself

2. When was the last time you stayed over at your friend's house?

Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
We just happy to talking each other.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
I will go to her house next month again!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Nicole. 
Below are some corrections for your composition. Keep learning!
-Teacher Jessa
It is best for me to stay over my own room. Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
>>It¡¯s best for me to stay in my own room because I need time for myself every day.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
>>Being alone helps me stay calm and think about what I said or did during the day.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself.
>>It¡¯s also a great way for me to strengthen myself.
Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
>>Last summer vacation, I visited my university friend¡¯s hometown with a few other friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
>>We played a lot of games and enjoyed delicious food!
We just happy to talking each other.
>>We were just happy to talk and spend time together.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
>>We went to bed very late because we didn¡¯t notice how much time had passed.
I will go to her house next month again!
>>I¡¯m planning to visit her house again next month!








¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144952 What does a happy life look like? What would you need to do to... ÃÖ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 175
144951 How frequently should someone meditate to experience the... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 528
144950 Advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 164
144949 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 174
144948 6/26 Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 158
144947 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 138
144946 What does a holiday mean to you? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144945 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 3
144944 What\'s your favorite book? Who\'s your favorite author? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 155
144943 What\'s the most frightening in the world? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 165
144942 What are the things that anger you and why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 265
144941 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 182
144940 Have you ever felt discouraged at work? What would have helped? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144939 Do you think team-building activities can help reduce workplace... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144938 Writing homework ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 128
144937 How do you order food in English? ¼Õ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 6
144936 Do you think your workplace provides enough safety training? Why... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 140
144935 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 161
144934 What\'s your favorite thing about your home? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 149
144933 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 164

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04