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Homework_IELTS_Lesson1_Q4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-07-31 33

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q. Compare the time you spent time with your family when you were young and now that you've grown up.

A. when I was middle school student, if my parents have free time, we usually went out to eat or visited somewhere nice. However, now, I work part time-job and have more things to do. Therefore, I don't have much time to spend with my family. So, I try to make those time I am with my family priceless. For example, I have some family time rather than watching youtube vidieos with my phone. Even though the amont of family-gathered time lacks, I completely think that the value of those serial moments surpass that lack.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Su In! Thank you for taking the time to complete your homework and share your answer with me. I can see that you made a genuine effort to compare your past and present experiences with your family, and you also included examples, which is a good habit for IELTS Speaking. To reach a band 7.0, you need to focus on improving your grammar accuracy, particularly verb tenses, articles, and word choice. Try to use more natural expressions and linking phrases such as ¡°back then,¡± ¡°compared to now,¡± or ¡°as a result¡± to make your answer flow smoothly. Also, watch out for small spelling mistakes like ¡°vidieos¡± or ¡°amont,¡± as they can affect clarity. Overall, you are on the right track; your ideas are good, and with more practice using natural collocations and complex sentences, you can definitely reach a 7.0 or higher.
~T. Jenna

A. when I was middle school student, if my parents have free time, we usually went out to eat or visited somewhere nice. 
>>When I was a middle school student, if my parents had free time, we usually went out to eat or visited somewhere nice.
However, now, I work part time-job and have more things to do. 
>>However, now I work a part-time job and have more things to do.
Therefore, I don't have much time to spend with my family. 
Correct, or
>>
As a result, I don¡¯t get to spend as much time with my family as I used to.
So, I try to make those time I am with my family priceless. 
>>So, I try to make the time I spend with my family priceless.
For example, I have some family time rather than watching youtube vidieos with my phone. 
>>For example, I spend time with my family rather than watching YouTube videos on my phone.
Even though the amont of family-gathered time lacks, I completely think that the value of those serial moments surpass that lack.
>>Even though the amount of family time is limited, I completely think that the value of those moments outweighs the lack of quantity.

****
Alternative: 
When I was in middle school, my parents and I often went out to eat or visited nice places whenever they had free time. Nowadays, I have a part-time job and many other responsibilities, so I don¡¯t get to spend as much time with my family as before. That¡¯s why I really try to make the moments we do have together special. For example, I prefer talking and sharing stories with them rather than just watching YouTube on my phone. Even though our time together is limited, I believe its quality is much more valuable than the amount of time we spend
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