¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can people maintain good health?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-08-12 7

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When people want to maintain good health, There are some ways they can try.
If they are energetic, they join sport club so that they can enjoy sport with other people. it can help to grow their social relationship as well.
On the other hand, eventhough they are introvert, they can still watch exercise videos at home or just have some healthy diets.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Su In! Hi! Your ideas are clear and relevant. To reach a 7.0 level, focus on using accurate grammar and sentence structures, such as correct articles, plurals, and verb forms. Expand your vocabulary with natural phrases like ¡°join a sports club¡± and ¡°build social relationships.¡± Make sure to link your ideas smoothly using connectors and avoid repetition. Also, try to use a variety of sentence types, including complex and compound sentences.  Keep working on these areas, and you¡¯ll definitely reach your goal!
~T. Jenna

When people want to maintain good health, There are some ways they can try.
>>When people want to maintain good health, there are some ways they can try.
If they are energetic, they join sport club so that they can enjoy sport with other people. 
>>If they are energetic, they join a sports club so that they can enjoy sports with other people.
it can help to grow their social relationship as well.
>>It can help them build social relationships as well.
On the other hand, eventhough they are introvert, they can still watch exercise videos at home or just have some healthy diets.
>>On the other hand, even though they are introverted, they can still watch exercise videos at home and then mimic those, or simply follow a healthy diet.

***
When people want to maintain good health, there are several effective methods they can try. For those who are energetic, joining a sports club is a great option because it allows them to enjoy physical activities with others and helps build social relationships. On the other hand, even introverted individuals can maintain their health by watching exercise videos at home and then performing the exercises, or by following a healthy diet. Both approaches contribute to overall well-being and can be adapted to different personalities and lifestyles.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145476 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 47
145475 What was the most memorable trip you took during your childhood,... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 47
145474 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 54
145473 Would you rather live an in a village or a rural center? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 31
145472 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 1
145471 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 34
145470 Do you prefer solo hobbies or ones you can share with others? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 42
145469 25.8.8 essay ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 1
145468 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 62
145467 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 54
145466 Hong Kong ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 49
145465 What are the benefits of reading? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 44
145464 08/06 Homework ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 9
145463 What other types of tests can you answer well? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 1
145462 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 53
145461 Conversation protocal ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 53
145460 Do you enjoy shopping for other people ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-08-07 0
145459 Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-08-06 53
145458 What will you do if a team member suddenly backs out of the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-08-06 55
145457 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-08-06 51

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04