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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts taks 1

작성자: 이*석
2021-01-17 413

회원님의 영작문



Dear John

I am one of the staff, who works in the department of advertisement. I’m writing to ask for your help in arrange about my business trip for 6month

First of all , I would like to explain why I want to our company’s Head office,
I have worked for 5years since I joined our company. these days, sometimes I felt that I want to experience and work in other country So that I can improve what I have skill
And then, one day, I read a company’s news about recruiting to staff , who wants to work in head office in another country. I think it is great opportunity for me.

I know you would be worried about what we proceeded with . Of course I have already done what I was doing, and my colleague who worked with me will proceed with the project.

Therefore, I would be grateful If you help me to arrange about my business trip.
There is no big thing to do, You can just confirm my business trip.

If you have any further question, please don’t hesitate call me.
I very much look forward your pr

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Lee!

You have understood well the requirements of the IELTS writing task and drafted the letter well.

However, the letter is unfinished due to word limit here on the composition site. Would you send it to me on Skype at the chat box so I can complete checking it?

Anyway, well done with your answer.

See you soon in  class

-T. Donna =)

P.S. I got your message and have completed the rest of this activity. Thank you.

Dear John
>> Correct! 
Or: Dear John,

I am one of the staff, who works in the department of advertisement. I’m writing to ask for your help in arrange about my business trip for 6month
>> I am one of the staff, who works in the department of advertisement. I’m writing to ask for your help in arranging my business trip for 6 months. 

First of all , I would like to explain why I want to our company’s Head office,
I have worked for 5years since I joined our company. these days, sometimes I felt that I want to experience and work in other country So that I can improve what I have skill
And then, one day, I read a company’s news about recruiting to staff , who wants to work in head office in another country. I think it is great opportunity for me.
>> First of all , I would like to explain why I want to work at our company’s Head Office.
I have worked here for 5 years since I joined this company. These days, sometimes I feel that I want to experience and work in another country so that I can improve the skills that I have.
And then, one day, I read a company’s news about recruiting staff who want to work in the head office in another country. I thought it was a great opportunity for me.

I know you would be worried about what we proceeded with . Of course I have already done what I was doing, and my colleague who worked with me will proceed with the project.
>> Correct!

Therefore, I would be grateful If you help me to arrange about my business trip.
There is no big thing to do, You can just confirm my business trip.
>> Therefore, I would be grateful if you help me arrange my business trip.
There is no big thing to do. You can just confirm my business trip.
>> I am  humbly asking for your permission to grant me this 6-month work assignment while I do my regular reports at our own head quarters.

If you have any further question, please don’t hesitate call me.
I very much look forward your prompt reply.
>> If you have any further question, please don’t hesitate to call me.
I very much look forward to your prompt reply.

respectfully,
>> Respectfully, 

Kiseok Lee.
>> Kiseok Lee
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