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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Please tell me about a serious issue that your school faced before.

작성자: 김*희
2021-01-20 305

회원님의 영작문

A serious issue that my school faced is that our school is now in danger of being closed. I go to private highschool which is specialized at teaching foreign languages. My school was established around 1980 and has a long history. A lot of famous politicians or lawyers have graduated our school and as a result, gets a lot of investment from them. However, this fact breeds discontent to others. Some feel unjustful that only a few students are getting high-quality education from young age. As a result, as the new government was elected at 2017, the president decided to close specialized private schools around 2025. A lot of school administrators and teachers are fighting against the government to withdraw its decision, but the government seem to be very firm with what they have decided. Although it’s important to provide fair education to all the students in a country, I believe my school should continue to exist to cultivate more talented people.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Minhee! I sympathize with you and your school! It must be tough for them because they only aim quality education! However, I hope you are still optimistic and hopeful! -Faith-
A serious issue that my school faced is that our school is now in danger of being closed.
>> The serious issue that my school is facing now is that our school is in danger of being closed.
I go to private highschool which is specialized at teaching foreign languages. 
>> I go to a private highschool which specialized at teaching foreign languages. 
My school was established around 1980 and has a long history. 
>> CORRECT
A lot of famous politicians or lawyers have graduated our school and as a result, gets a lot of investment from them. 
>> A lot of famous politicians or lawyers have graduated from our school and as a result, it gets a lot of investment from them. 
However, this fact breeds discontent to others. 
>> However, this fact breeds discontentment among several people. 
Some feel unjustful that only a few students are getting high-quality education from young age. 
>> Some feel indignant that only a few students are getting high-quality education from a young age. 
As a result, as the new government was elected at 2017, the president decided to close specialized private schools around 2025. 
>> As a result, when the new president was elected at 2017, he decided to close specialized private schools around 2025. 
A lot of school administrators and teachers are fighting against the government to withdraw its decision, but the government seem to be very firm with what they have decided. 
>> A lot of school administrators and teachers are fighting against the government to withdraw its decision, but the government seems to be very firm with what they have decided.
Although it’s important to provide fair education to all the students in a country, I believe my school should continue to exist to cultivate more talented people.
>> Although it’s important to provide fair education to all students worldwide, I believe my school should continue to exist to cultivate more talented people.

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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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