¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think you are aging gracefully?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-01-28 390

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to development of mesical technology, people can live longer than before.
Thus, aging population has became a serious problem in South Korea. Including me, people should think about that hiw can we get old gracedully?
In my opinion, aging gracefully is being open mind to young
people.
I stronly believe that if I am open mind person, I can become more generous, careful and beautiful.
Now I am trying to be awakened and believe that It makes me age gracefully in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Young Won!

I agree that aging gracefully is smiling, being kind, embracing age better than yesterday. Along with wisdom,  we are more at peace and try to be the light in dark situations.

We cannot deny the fact that your country is growing old literally with its people. We can only hope that this can find a good solution soon.

I would like to thank you for all your great efforts in crafting a composition always.

See you soon!

-T. Donna =)

According to development of mesical technology, people can live longer than before.
>> According to developments of medical technology, people can live longer than before.

Thus, aging population has became a serious problem in South Korea. Including me, people should think about that hiw can we get old gracedully?
In my opinion, aging gracefully is being open mind to young
people.
>> Thus, aging population has became a serious problem in South Korea. Including me, people should think about how we can get old gracefully.
In my opinion, aging gracefully is being open-mind to young
people.

I stronly believe that if I am open mind person, I can become more generous, careful and beautiful.
>> I strongly believe that if I am an open-mind person, I can become more generous, careful, and beautiful.

Now I am trying to be awakened and believe that It makes me age gracefully in the future.
>> Correct!
Or: ...that it makes...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105326 How old is \"old\" for you? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105325 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 1
105324 What do you usually eat when: 1. You are happy? 2. You are... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 619
105323 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 1
105322 Would you leave your hometown forever or stay in your hometown... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105321 Do you like asking strangers for direction when looking for a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105320 What do you like most about your best friend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 302
105319 my new product ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 244
105318 English Homework 23 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 343
105317 How do you like your retirement would be like? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 385
105316 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 8
105315 Food that I can cook ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 315
105314 Why do you think the earth\'s temperature is getting hotter? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105313 2/2 ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 286
105312 public Transportation ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 402
105311 Are there any places you\'re not interested in visiting? À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105310 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105309 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105308 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105307 My assignment Çã*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 253

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04