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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The most boring job.

작성자: 김*환
2021-03-16 3075

회원님의 영작문

After doing military service, I could get a part-time job. At that time, my mother had worked a factory, she introduced me to the factory.
The factory has been producing some parts of car's Air conditioner. While I worked at the factory, I removed particles from a part what was cut by a machine for 8 hours every week days. It was so boring, I couldn't stand especially last time of every day. That period was winter season, while I was working I fired gas heater. After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze one more, You
fire." I couldn't doze anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't my job. I have to study hard to get my ideal job.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!


Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


After doing military service, I could get a part-time job. 
>>> After doing military service, I want to get a part-time job. 

At that time, my mother had worked a factory, she introduced me to the factory.
>>> At that time, my mother had worked in a factory, so she recommended me to work in the factory.

The factory has been producing some parts of car's Air conditioner. 
>>> The factory has been producing some parts of cars' air conditioner. 

While I worked at the factory, I removed particles from a part what was cut by a machine for 8 hours every week days. 
>>> My main job in the factory is to remove particles from a part that was cut by a machine for 8 hours every weekday. 

It was so boring, I couldn't stand especially last time of every day.
>>> It was so boring that I couldn't stand especially the last time of every day. 

That period was winter season, while I was working I fired gas heater. 
>>> That period was the winter season, while I was working I accidentally fired a gas heater. 

After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze one more, You fire." 
>>> After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze off one more, you fire." 

I couldn't doze anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't my job. 
>>> I couldn't afford to doze off anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't the job for me. 

I have to study hard to get my ideal job.
>>> CORRECT

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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