¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¾Æ
2021-05-10 591

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) Do you think women should only stay at home while men should only work for the family?

A)
No, absolutely not. Both men and women should be given the opportunity to do economic activity and social activity, and this is connected to basic freedom. Breaking gender stereotypes is a task for all of us.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Laura!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Q) Do you think women should only stay at home while men should only work for the family?


A)
No, absolutely not. 
>> CORRECT!

Both men and women should be given the opportunity to do economic activity and social activity, and this is connected to basic freedom. 
>> CORRECT!

Breaking gender stereotypes is a task for all of us.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109274 How to love my family. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 442
109273 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 513
109272 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 405
109271 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109270 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 530
109269 Is it OK to ask a person\'s age in your country? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109268 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109267 share presentaton for the feedback on today session ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 2
109266 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 561
109265 How do you motivate yourself? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109264 HM ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109263 Which activity have you tried one time and would never do again? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109262 Do people drive well in your country? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 6
109261 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 507
109260 How can extreme weather conditions affect the economy and our... ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 440
109259 Do you think you have been a racist once in your life? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109258 What are the things that people used to do before but not... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 447
109257 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 474
109256 Homework (301) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 469
109255 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 453

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04