¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¾Æ
2021-05-10 462

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) Do you think women should only stay at home while men should only work for the family?

A)
No, absolutely not. Both men and women should be given the opportunity to do economic activity and social activity, and this is connected to basic freedom. Breaking gender stereotypes is a task for all of us.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Laura!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Q) Do you think women should only stay at home while men should only work for the family?


A)
No, absolutely not. 
>> CORRECT!

Both men and women should be given the opportunity to do economic activity and social activity, and this is connected to basic freedom. 
>> CORRECT!

Breaking gender stereotypes is a task for all of us.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108358 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108357 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108356 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 471
108355 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 434
108354 Personally, do you think people can really stop using plastic?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 446
108353 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 689
108352 Did you know that Abraham Lincoln supposedly foresaw his own... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 493
108351 Do you walk every day? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 698
108350 Homework 5.10.MON ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 534
108349 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 496
108348 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 3
108347 Staying in Hanok ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 730
108346 Yes...but the reason is too bad..¤Ì¤Ì ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 495
108345 If you were on a deserted island, what would you bring and why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 564
108344 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 0
108343 Why do wear shous? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 425
108342 How did your parents raise you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 475
108341 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 476
108340 late flight ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 2
108339 Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 445

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04