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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

speaking part 2(website)

작성자: 신*진
2021-09-27 245

회원님의 영작문



There are two questions in the pile about the previous revised writing. thank you~~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for the questions, Shin!

The ones in black are my comments and direct answers to your questions and those in red are the revisions. 

I hope your questions are answered. ^^ 

~Elica~

There are a lot of the website that I have used, but the first website that comes to mind is ‘Mushinsa’, which is online shopping mall for fashion items.

>>There are a lot of websites that I have used, but the first website that comes to mind is ‘Mushinsa’, which is an online shopping mall for fashion items.

 

I bought many items such as glasses, pants, jeans, and shirts. 

>>CORRECT

The favorite item of them that I bought from the website is duck-down coat because It’s a great coat that is long enough to cover my knee and the most expensive one of the items that I have.

>> My most favorite item among them that I bought from the website is a duck-down coat because it’s a great coat that is long enough to cover my knee and the most expensive one of the items that I have.

 

 In fact, I don’t prefer to buy something from website because I can’t see real size and it might be broken on the delivery.

>>Actually, I don’t prefer to buy something online because I can’t see the real size and it might be broken on the delivery. 

 However, I haven’t been disappointed by any items that I ordered from the website. 

>>However, I haven’t been disappointed by any of the items that I ordered from the website. 

There are a lot of comments and pictures from buyers/shoppers on the website.

>>CORRECT

OR

>>There are also a lot of comments and pictures from buyers/shoppers on the website.

 

 There are several things that I like the website. 

>> There are several things that I like about the website.

First, as I said, there are a lot of comments and pictures that come from buyers and I can tell what size is fit to me. 

>> First, as I said, there are a lot of comments and pictures that come from the buyers and I can tell what size is fit for me

Second, there are diverse items and brands on the website. 

>>CORRECT

Moreover, the items are generally cheap because of the competition of many brands. 

>>CORRECT

Lastly, the delivery takes only 2days and the fee is free.

>>CORRECT

 

Q) it’s better to interact with peers, sharing my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas 

>>It’s better to interact with peers, sharing my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas.

but after that, it’s better to interact with peers, sharing my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas.

>>After that, it’s better to interact with peers and share my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas.

Which sentence is right? ~~~with peers and share my~~/ ~~with peers, sharing my ~~

Both two sentences are good?

>>This one is better "After that, it’s better to interact with peers and share my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas." It's because it sounds more parallel and forms a more concrete idea. Also avoid starting your sentence with "but". 

 

Q) When it comes to the sales of Fairtrade-labelled banana, likewise, surges were seen in UK and Switzerland. 

>>When it comes to the sales of Fairtrade-labelled bananas, likewise, surges were seen in UK and Switzerland.

In the sentence that you revised, is ‘in the UK’ right? You revised from ‘in UK’ to ‘in the UK’ in the other sentences.  

>>Yes, it should be "the UK". ( If the country name is common nouns, use the - the Czech Republic, the United Kingdom. If it is a group of islands, use the - the Bahamas, the Maldives, the Philippines. If the name is common nouns followed by 'of', use the - the United States of America, the Peoples Republic of China.)

 

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
112211 about mustang 윤*진 완료 2021-09-27 1
112210 What is the importance of schedule? 주*석 완료 2021-09-27 228
112209 speaking part 2(website) 신*진 완료 2021-09-27 245
112208 speaking part2 신*진 완료 2021-09-27 277
112207 What are the advantages and disadvantages of having primary and... 김*국 완료 2021-09-26 4
112206 Why are animals important to humans?  ye*nhi 완료 2021-09-26 1
112205 Hard-headed 민*정 완료 2021-09-26 2
112204 Do you prefer working alone or in a group? 문*현 완료 2021-09-26 244
112203 Which skill do you think is most significant in this job... 문*현 완료 2021-09-26 214
112202 What do you want to do after the Pandemic? 서*영 완료 2021-09-26 1
112201 HOMEWORK 김*연 완료 2021-09-25 210
112200 17 채*서 완료 2021-09-25 196
112199 13 채*서 완료 2021-09-25 720
112198 Since we celebrated Chu Seok, what are you most thankful for? 여*진 완료 2021-09-25 0
112197 Which hobbies are the most popular in your country? 송*령 완료 2021-09-24 217
112196 What identity do you want your child/ children to have in the... 안*윤 완료 2021-09-24 1
112195 Since we celebrated Chu Seok, what are you most thankful for? 하*윤 완료 2021-09-24 224
112194 Holidays 최*정 완료 2021-09-24 204
112193 O.M.G 오*결 완료 2021-09-24 293
112192 Most part of my body:brain 김*우 완료 2021-09-24 247

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

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문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]