¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you deal with a bad mood? What activity do you engage in to get into a better mood? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-28 630

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. but I played football games with my friends every free time. Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts. If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
I would say that you really work hard.
I know that you have a busy life.
I appreciate that you're writing to improve yourself.
You're showing your commitment to develop yourself.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. 
>> Correct
but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. 
>> However, it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump.
One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. 
>> Correct
When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. 
>> When I was in third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed.
but I played football games with my friends every free time. 
>> However, I played football with my friends during my free time.
Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. 
>> Correct
Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. 
>> Correct
so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. 
>> So, I recommend having regular exercise to manage your mood.
Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. 
>> Another way I control my emotions is to have a hobby related to instruments.
whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. 
>> Whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar.
Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts.
>> Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on it, I can get rid of my negative thoughts.
If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.
>> If I¡¯m in a situation where I can¡¯t play an instrument, just listening to my favorite songs also makes me feel better.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145191 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 68
145190 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 1
145189 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 50
145188 What do you think when you see an advert that says ¡°Unbeatable... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 0
145187 Page 3 ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 55
145186 Task ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 2
145185 Can a person live a meaningful life without following a strict... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 51
145184 I think I can\'t beat a lie detection test. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 55
145183 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 6
145182 What\'s your most valued possession? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 2
145181 sorry for being late for my assignments. ÃÖ*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 76
145180 The homework for 17th July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 55
145179 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 3
145178 Brad and Serena have been married for eight years and are going... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 61
145177 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 42
145176 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 58
145175 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-21 45
145174 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-20 0
145173 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-20 60
145172 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04