¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or living a glamorous lifestyle?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2025-07-29 20

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think being famous usually means living a rich life.

First, money naturally follows fame. You can earn through ads, sponsorships, and more.

Second, famous people get special treatment like free stuff or VIP invites, which makes life more glamorous.

That¡¯s why I believe fame often leads to wealth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Jae Seo. Please take a look at the corrections below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or living a glamorous lifestyle?



I think being famous usually means living a rich life.
>>> OR: Being famous often equates to living a life of wealth and privilege.
>>> OR: Many people assume that fame guarantees a rich and comfortable life.

First, money naturally follows fame. You can earn through ads, sponsorships, and more.
>>> OR: To start, fame often leads to financial gain through advertisements, sponsorships, and various income streams.
>>> OR: Fame commonly results in increased earning potential via sponsorships, promotional contracts, and related channels

Second, famous people get special treatment like free stuff or VIP invites, which makes life more glamorous. That¡¯s why I believe fame often leads to wealth.
>>> OR: Second, famous individuals often receive special perks, such as complimentary products and exclusive event access, which adds glamour to their lifestyle. That¡¯s why I believe fame frequently leads to wealth.
>>> OR: The benefits of fame go beyond money; it¡¯s the VIP experiences and exclusive treatment that make life more glamorous. That¡¯s why I think fame and wealth are closely connected.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145270 Are you influenced by what you see on TV? Or by what you read? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-26 41
145269 What kind of news do you like to read about? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 60
145268 What motivates you to work hard? Explain. ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 56
145267 What is the best age to travel? Can children appreciate the... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 0
145266 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 56
145265 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 63
145264 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 3
145263 Do you think it\'s easy to be a YouTuber or make a living... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 55
145262 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 64
145261 07/24 Homework ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-25 8
145260 How can getting older help people understand life better? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 58
145259 my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 64
145258 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 1
145257 Do you think there is a way that the government can protect the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 71
145256 Task ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 3
145255 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 66
145254 Do you think avoiding arguments helps maintain relationships, or... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 0
145253 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 63
145252 Why is it important to be truthful? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 4
145251 07/24 Homework ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 61

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04