¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or living a glamorous lifestyle?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2025-07-29 37

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think being famous usually means living a rich life.

First, money naturally follows fame. You can earn through ads, sponsorships, and more.

Second, famous people get special treatment like free stuff or VIP invites, which makes life more glamorous.

That¡¯s why I believe fame often leads to wealth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Jae Seo. Please take a look at the corrections below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or living a glamorous lifestyle?



I think being famous usually means living a rich life.
>>> OR: Being famous often equates to living a life of wealth and privilege.
>>> OR: Many people assume that fame guarantees a rich and comfortable life.

First, money naturally follows fame. You can earn through ads, sponsorships, and more.
>>> OR: To start, fame often leads to financial gain through advertisements, sponsorships, and various income streams.
>>> OR: Fame commonly results in increased earning potential via sponsorships, promotional contracts, and related channels

Second, famous people get special treatment like free stuff or VIP invites, which makes life more glamorous. That¡¯s why I believe fame often leads to wealth.
>>> OR: Second, famous individuals often receive special perks, such as complimentary products and exclusive event access, which adds glamour to their lifestyle. That¡¯s why I believe fame frequently leads to wealth.
>>> OR: The benefits of fame go beyond money; it¡¯s the VIP experiences and exclusive treatment that make life more glamorous. That¡¯s why I think fame and wealth are closely connected.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145250 Do you check the weather forecast before traveling? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 67
145249 My favorite summer activity. È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 68
145248 Use \'verbally\' in a correct sentence ¼Û*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 85
145247 regarding of lesson 5 ÃÖ*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 77
145246 When choosing cosmetics ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 74
145245 Problem solved ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 73
145244 wild animal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 1
145243 musem ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 1
145242 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 84
145241 Some jobs AI will never be able to do well ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 74
145240 Getting things done on time ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-24 78
145239 What are some good ways to apologize if you hurt someone¡¯s... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 0
145238 Homework!! ¹Ú*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 61
145237 Page 6 ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 57
145236 Why do you think the ¡°godsaeng¡± lifestyle has become so... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 72
145235 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 1
145234 Homework! ¹Ú*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 70
145233 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 64
145232 Can a ceasefire truly bring peace without addressing root causes... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 66
145231 Absent ÀÓ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-23 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04