¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

About Han river park

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-03 229

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'll write about Han river park in Seoul. There are lots of Han river parks, but I'll write the most popular parks among them.
First, I'll explain why it is the most popular park. Because it is located in the middle of Seoul, called 'Yeouido'. It is one of the most developed town in Seoul, so there are lots of people live in it and there lots of service centers. In my opinion, because this area is so famous or good for picnic, lots of people go to picnic to here.
Second, I will write about other information about it. Lots of festivals are hosted by government. However, because of this festival and lots of people, COVID-19 was spread in it. About 20 people were infected in this place. So now government closed down it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! Thank you for doing your homework! Please take note of the corrections.


- Teacher Debbie


I'll write about Han river park in Seoul.
>> I'll write about Han River Park in Seoul.

There are lots of Han river parks, but I'll write the most popular parks among them.
>> There are lots of Han River Parks, but I'll write about the most popular among them.

First, I'll explain why it is the most popular park. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Because it is located in the middle of Seoul, called 'Yeouido'.
>> This park is located in Yeouido, which is in the middle of Seoul.

 It is one of the most developed town in Seoul, so there are lots of people live in it and there lots of service centers. 
>> Yeouido is one of the most developed towns in Seoul, so there are lots of people who live in it, and there are lots of service centers. 

In my opinion, because this area is so famous or good for picnic, lots of people go to picnic to here.
>> Because this area is very famous for picnics, lots of people go to the park.

Second, I will write about other information about it. 
>> I'll write more information about it.

Lots of festivals are hosted by government. 
>> Lots of festivals are hosted by the government. 

However, because of this festival and lots of people, COVID-19 was spread in it.
>> However, because of these festivals and the number of visitors, the COVID-19 infections spread.

 About 20 people were infected in this place. So now government closed down it.
>> About 20 people were infected in this place, so the government closed it down.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115199 About Han river park ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 229
115198 What can you get from listening to the radio? Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 108
115197 Who is your favorite cartoon character? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 145
115196 What new thing would you like to try this year? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 164
115195 I received my christmas present!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 85
115194 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 214
115193 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115192 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 104
115191 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 200
115190 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 171
115189 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115188 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115187 What is a good friend? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 131
115186 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 166
115185 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115184 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115183 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 485
115182 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115181 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115180 My favorite things ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04